BEING GAY IN AFRICA

The most common question every single homosexual has ever been asked after "the big reveal" is, "When did you decide to be gay?" personally, I have run out of offenses to be taken with regards to that question, a better question, for all you heterosexual humans and in-the-closet homosexual humans would be, "When did you first realize that you were gay?" I am not saying that if you pose the question that way the subject of your interrogations will answer your question and then merrily skip away to ride the rainbow they parked right outside the building, but they would definitely not want to assault you with a club.
So, when did my homosexuality decide to let itself known to me, well I never really have a specific or satisfactory answer for this (based on the reactions I’ve got after responding). People always want you to have a killer story behind it all. It is actually the most amusing thing because you can always tell when this question is coming, gay humans can attest to this. They will always super prepare you as though they’re about to reveal the secrets of the universe to you (just once I wish this would be the case). A typical conversation would go something like this;
Friend : Hey Archie

Me : Yea?

Friend : I have a personal question, I hope you don’t get offended by it [super long pause involving a lot of “don’t be offended” pleas] okay, when did you first know that you’re gay?

Me : I’ve always known.

Friend : No, I mean like the first time it hit you, like that moment you knew you were gay.

Me : I’ve always known.

Friend : [Clearly frustrated] everybody has a first time! When was yours?!

Me : Alright, I’ll answer your question if you answer mine.

Friend : Deal.

Me : When did YOU realize you were straight?

Friend : It’s different for us. It’s not the same. We just are.

Me : All right.

Friend : So when did you realize?

Me : I’ve always known.

What I have come to realize though is that, the above concept is nearly impossible for some curious heterosexuals to grasp, it is like trying to convince a staunch creationist of Evolution, they just can’t wrap their head around it because all they’ve ever known is creationism. That is why you will often hear the phrase “gay lifestyle” being thrown around even by people who claim to understand that homosexuality is not a decision to be happened upon. You are a parent/sibling/friend of a homosexual who has just come out and you are struggling to understand how that person could be what they say they are. Let’s put you in an alternate universe, a mirror world, we shall call it Thrae, in Thrae being sexually attracted to a person of the same gender is the norm and fancying people of the opposite gender is the abominable sin punishable by imprisonment and even death in some countries. Let’s take a look at your life.

You grow up surrounded by homosexual couples, all the text books at school portray same-sex couples, in church, gay weddings all around but then there you are finding yourself ever so hopelessly attracted to the opposite sex. Scripture forbids it, the society rebukes it, your parents won’t even listen to news on the matter but there you are fully aware that you are one of them, you are one of those people your family detests and can’t stand the sight of.

You grow up and meet someone. He/she feels the same way. You can’t go out on dates; they always have to be private. Your girlfriend or boyfriend has been seen at your place of residence one too many times in, people are beginning to talk so now you must take measures, he/she must sneak in to your house during odd hours and you have to do the same. When you do find the courage to go out in public together, you cannot afford to show your feelings towards this person, simply holding his/her could get you both brutally assaulted.

You discover a club that is friendly towards your kind, straight couples, it becomes your spot but you have to be careful because the place is subject to police raids for one reason and one reason alone. Luck runs out for you, a long overdue date with your partner at your favourite club is interrupted by the police, The Government had promised the people drastic action against rampant heterosexuality the country, media reporters invited to cover the “event” are waiting right outside to catch a glimpse of every single one of you and make you known to everyone else as a sinful abominable creature. Your face appears on every single major newspaper the following day.

Still in a cell, your father visits you to tell you that they will no longer continue to support your education and want nothing to do with you ever again. You get out a few weeks later only to find that the landlord broke into your house, threw your belongings outside and put a new lock on your door, neighbours peeping at you, disgusted.

You try looking for jobs, constantly rejected not because you are not qualified but because they looked into you and found out that you had a sexual orientation different from the rest, at that moment you will settle for anything. Whatever happened to the love of your life? they bailed him/her out but you find out that he/she was immediately shipped out to upcountry where he/she was forced to marry a person of the same sex and live out the rest of their natural life in that relationship. Your friends won’t help or talk to you, your family wants nothing to do with. You are all alone with nowhere to go all because you fell in love with a person of the opposite sex, all because you’re a sexual deviant, no different from an animal… because you’re straight.

How much do you love being in this universe right now?

All of that, up there, is a reality for most Gay and Lesbian persons; we are forced to forfeit a part of who we are in order to be allowed to live. Your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, fiancée or fiancé, imagine a world where you could get killed for choosing or even wanting to be with them. It is a fairly simple concept to grasp if you open your mind.

Nature has never been monotonous, we have millions of species of everything, nothing on this planet naturally exists as a monopoly species, why do we, human beings then assume that we are not subject to the laws of nature, some will say, “no it’s not nature, in fact it’s unnatural” unnatural, my fellow humans, is a species lacking in diversity and need I remind you that not too long ago, being left handed was considered unnatural and abominable, in fact some people still think this so, even today, Inter-racial marriages were strictly forbidden -  considered unnatural.

 It is in our nature as human beings to evolve not just physically but also mentally and thus we are hopeful that a day will come when Gay and Lesbian individuals in Kenya and the world by extension, will not be viewed as lesser beings who need to be annihilated from the face of the planet but as people just like you, who just happen to be attracted to persons of the same sex! because literally, that’s all we are.